Life talks

How are you now ?

Every now and then we fall sick , either mentally , physically, emotionally or some other way .

When such occur, we tend to reach out to those close to us to get comfort , encouragement , solutions , Prayers or some other type of support .

For those who are lucky and blessed to get the attention and support they need, there is a down side to it .

The down side is been pressured to feel better .


I mean I get it , as an encourager or supporter I would want to see the effect of my efforts and care as soon as possible. So therefore it is an understandable fault .


Miss Jane has a headache and her roommate have her some pain relievers and a head massage. After about 20minutes she says how do you feel? Same replied Jane. How about now she asked 10 minutes later with searching eyes , I am fine now replied Jane out of guilt.

Hopefully you get the picture I am trying to paint .

Many times we encourage others and don’t give them space to heal. Be it someone who is suffering from depression, illness, heartbreak etc. After we have done our part, the other part we have to play is allowing them and giving them time to heal.

Does this mean you do not ask if they are better?

No, it’s important to ask . But!

Yes, there is a but.

Do not ask this question, to make yourself feel better ( to make yourself happy for helping another person, remember it’s not about you but the other person).

Do not ask this question out of “habit” as you will did do it to frequently and “choke” them.

Do not ask the question in an accusing tone.( example – last week I told you to forget about your boyfriend hope you have, because that’s about two weeks. Try a subtle approach like since we spoke about your boyfriend how do you feel?)

Another is saying something like, hope you are reading so you don’t fail again, say something like how is your reading going since the last discussion we had .

As a Christian , I did say ask with the direction of the Holy Spirit .

In trying to help , let’s not cause more damage .

Remember to give others space to heal .

Be kind ✨

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